I have bad auditory processing issues. When I have to talk to people, it can be very difficult, because it takes a lot just to understand what they are saying. Then I have to formulate a response, try and make a correct facial expression, and figure out how to move the words from my brain to my mouth. This all has to happen within a few seconds in order to keep the conversation going. Talking to humans can use up a lot of my energy.
This is one of the reasons I love to write so much. The processing issues disappear when I write and I am able to be much more eloquent. I’m able to harness my thoughts and wrangle them down on a piece of paper or my laptop.
I always make sure I have a notebook and a writing utensil with me at all times. There have been moments where I have gone non-verbal because of what is going on around me. When that happens, I take out my trusty paper and start writing. I’m usually able to let one of my safe humans know what is going on with me. I can get so frustrated when people don’t understand what I am saying, but writing helps me communicate much more smoothly.
I am finally doing what makes me happiest in life. I get to write everyday about autism and self-advocacy. I have been through some fucked up shit in my life. I love that I can write it all down. I can give people strategies or at least make them feel like they are not alone. Hell, I might have changed a few lives over the years. Writing has made me a better advocate, not just for myself, but for my community.