Autism

I’ll Change The World Before I Go

I am truly thrilled to get to advocate for myself and my fellow autistics. I want to be the person child me wished she knew. Before this year, I was by myself. I had a spouse, maybe a friend here or there, but I was all alone. I also had years without having basically any human contact. I had no one in my life to support me in a healthy way. I am so lucky that I got saved by some amazing humans, but I know not everyone has that.

I want to be someone who gets to show the world how amazing autism truly is. Whenever someone tells me that my writing has helped show a brighter future for their child or when an autistic is validated because they have the same experiences as me, it makes all the hardship and pain I went through worth it.

When my passive suicidal thoughts start overwhelming me, my mantra is I’ll change the world before I go. I haven’t changed the world yet, therefore no suicide today. I need to be the autistic role model that I wish had growing up. Everyone should get to feel proud about being autistic. Hopefully, I can prevent people from the abuse I have suffered. Below is the song that inspired the post title. This song always makes me feel better when I’m depressed. It reminds me that I am strong enough to live through everything and be a better advocate for it.

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