Autism

Tell Me What You Know About The Night Terrors, Every Night

In addition to my very fun insomnia issues, I have horrific dreams where I wake up screaming, I would say at least twice a week. I fucking hate them. It feels like I’m paralyzed in these dreams and I scream for quite some time until I wake up.

A lot of these night terrors are PTSD reactions to all my abuse. I’m often trapped in my parents house in these dreams or, like last night, I was cornered by my abusive ex-spouse. Generally it’s a feeling of being trapped somewhere and I can’t flee.

The night terrors really get bad if I wake up and I don’t have a human next to me. I keep screaming until someone shows up. Most of the time, though, I sleep with at least one or two humans in my bed and they pull me out of my terrors before it gets too bad.

I wish these dreams would go away. There are some nights where I force myself not to fall asleep because I am so terrified about what is waiting for me when I close my eyes. I usually sleep with the lights on if I have no one with me, because the dark makes everything worse. I also hate having my back exposed. That is the true reason I am polyamorous. I need a whole battalion protecting me while I sleep! Mad props to the humans who have been woken up by a bloodcurdling scream in their ear. I don’t know what I would do without you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s